Covid Protocol

Man. this is getting old. We've been "sheltering in place" for four months. Everything except for essential services has been pretty much shut down. No movies, no theater, no sports events, no concerts. Only the young -- the ones who are certain they'll live forever -- have been hitting the bars and places like Disney World. Infections and deaths are still on the rise so we must keep this up. For how long is the question. Entertaining friends is limited mostly to Zoom cocktail parties, although this evening we will invite one couple to a six-feet-apart dinner on our porch. What will we do when winter comes? All of this would be more bearable if we had some leadership in the White House. All Trump has done is to sow political discord over a situation that is of critical concern to all. Rules for mask wearing, and social distancing are all over the place, making it more difficult -- even stressful -- to know what is the correct thing to do is various situations. OK to have a haircut? Visit a grocery store? Wear a mask while entertaining? Finally, Trump has come to the conclusion (because his poll numbers are down, I'm sure) that (a) it's going to get worse before it gets better, and (b) well, maybe after all, it would be a good thing to wear a mask. And we are the lucky ones. So many are suffering financial woes and health crises and drive-by funerals. The impact of this virus is going to be long lasting.

Spanish Class

Of course, we're operating on Zoom now, like all other "social" engagements. On Thursday mornings at 9:30 I set up my IPad at the kitchen counter and prepare to chime in. I understand about 85% of what is spoken which I consider to be quite good, given my hearing loss. This is an advanced Spanish conversation class. We are reading a novel (El Tiempo Entre Costuras) which is also a challenge for me, but I'm getting better at it. In addition, we listen to Podcasts (in Spanish of course), complete Grammar exercises, and talk about daily events. These days it is all about the virus and its mishandling from on high. However, next week we have a different assignment: bring some good news to class! Hmmm . . . What can that be? All of us seem to be doing a fair amount of fretting and worrying about our health, our families, our future. What can I share that is uplifting? There's the joke about the two men who walked into a bank wearing masks. "Don't worry," they said. "We're robbers." I could share some of the positive things I've seen on Facebook/YouTube. A man Zooming with his two dogs, for example. Or a gorgeous offering of Bach's B Minor Mass by the Washington Opera Consort. But I think I'll share something closer to home: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. An enterprising member of our local community has organized a sandwich making brigade that is donated to Martha's Table, a soup kitchen for homeless people. So far its members have made and donated over 4,000 sandwiches and the effort shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. Now that is a positive reaction to a worrisome situation!

My Son's Mother

Just a year ago, when Bruce and I were on a European cruise, I had a call from my older son. "Mom," he said, "I've found my birth mother." Wow, that hit home. I knew, of course, that she existed, or at least that she had existed long enough to give birth to my son. But now she was real. She has a name. She lives outside of Toronto. She never had more children. I tried to absorb all this information as the ship was bobbing about in the Atlantic, but all I wanted to do was to hug my son and be hugged by him. My first reaction was to go into total defense: he's MY child! The second was to move into mother bear mode: we really don't know this person and I don't want you to be hurt! When we returned from the cruise I learned more about her. That summer my son met her. Since then they have been emailing back and forth. For his birthday in December she sent him a package of small gifts. After all, it was the first time she had been able to celebrate that day knowing where he was and that he is OK. A panoply of emotions surround this event, more than I can write today, but I'll continue. Stay tuned!

The Human Connection

What has been lost in the pandemic is the human connection. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, that connection is needed, maybe more for some and less for others, but still needed. We are social animals and we like the feeling of belonging to a group, of being surrounded by others. The pandemic has taught us the depth of this longing. I miss my connections of small groups here and there -- the church group, the yoga group, Spanish class, the piano recital. Zooming helps. It helps a lot, but it doesn't replace the synergy of folks coming together, of hugs and laughter, of intimacy. I wonder if "normal" will ever come back or whether we'll all have to devise further methods of making connections.

And the future?

OK, now I'm beginning to really worry. Or perhaps I should say, to worry beyond the immediate crisis. I'm already grieving the loss of life all over the world and worrying about my own family. I'm already wildly concerned about the millions on unemployment and the millions who have no safe place in which to shelter. Now it's more than that. What is the future going to look like? Is our entire economy going to collapse? Will there be food shortages? Desperate people rioting and looting? The end of democracy as we have known it? You can tell this is getting to me. Maybe I'd feel more optimistic than I do if we had some competent leadership at the top. Instead we have an egomaniac who is more interested in his reelection than he is in the welfare of the American people. Instead of listening to the sage advice of his medical experts, he is inciting suspicion of his own policies by refusing to wear a mask in public and by tweeting "Liberate Michigan" to his followers. Is it a coincidence that Michigan is a key swing state in the coming election? I think not. And now he has his perfect chance to prohibit immigration into the States. How I long for a stable figure at the top.

Person to Person

What I wouldn't give for a hug! (In addition to the ones I get from my husband, that is.) I'm one of the lucky ones who is not living alone during this time. My heart goes out to those who are. Nothing like physical contact when the going gets tough or even when it doesn't. We lack physical touch, but we can thank Covid for broadening other methods of communication. Zoom classes, meetings, discussions are now the norm. No physical contact, but at least it provides connection with others. Better than nothing. Perhaps out of boredom, perhaps because we simply have more time, we've been reaching out to friends and relatives we would otherwise be ignoring. My cousins and I recently enjoyed a virtual Zoom reunion -- bringing us together from Florida, Michigan, Virginia, Maryland and Mexico. Would this have happened two months ago? The most astonishing thing is that some families, tired of Zooming, podcasts, TV and streaming movies, have turned to board games. Can you imagine? Bring it on, Monopoly! In our house we are wearing out the RummiKub tiles with our nightly games. The face of communication is changing and that might not be a bad thing to relish when this is all over.

Easter Sunday?

This was the strangest Easter ever. Long ago (last year?) Easter Sunday was filled with non-virtual church services, Easter baskets, and new finery including hats. Family photos against newly blooming bushes were always taken. Easter dinner (ham again?) was always eaten. One year, much to my chagrin, our poodle found the Easter baskets before the kids and ate all the chocolate. That was the year that my children learned that Mommy knew some bad words. This time was different. I did "attend" church services, more out of tradition than belief. Still, the music and words were comforting, and Zoom was a whole lot better than nothing. Later in the day we invited some neighbors to our back yard (six feet apart, of course) and presented a brief concert with my son on the violin and me on the piano. We played Bach's "Arioso" and the theme from Schindler's List. It wasn't perfect but we did our best and the guests seemed to appreciate our efforts. Wine was served (actually picked up individually in plastic glasses) and all were happy to be in the company of others in the flesh. It was a different, but happy, Easter.

This is Getting Old

At first the idea of sheltering at home seemed kind of appealing to me. Life is generally on the fast track even for us older adults. Having extra time to get to some of those long put-off projects around the house was good. Allowing more time to play the piano was also good. Connecting with classmates and friends via Zoom was fun. Now the projects are finished. More practicing has not resulted in my mastery of Bach's French Suite 5. Zoom has lost its novelty, although it is decidedly better than nothing. I long for a date night out, mixing with other people, feeling a sense of community. When I go for walks most people head to the other side of the street, pulling their dogs with them. There goes another pleasure: scratching dog ears. Even the thought of going to the grocery store now seems as enchanting as an all-expense paid trip to anywhere. We have sons and neighbors ready to shop for us, and we are grateful for that. Still, we miss that small bit of satisfaction that comes with choosing just the right tomato. Small things, but together they are anxiety-provoking. And when will normal be normal?

Vying for Vaccine

As if the worry over the Corona virus isn't enough, now there is a related topic to worry about. I read in today's newspaper that there is worldwide competition to obtain surgical masks and other protective equipment. And guess who is leading the fight? Apparently a shipment of medical equipment from China was on its way to Germany until we outbid the German firm. And on the vaccine front, our president offered $1 billion to buy a German manufacturer whose work in this area is promising. My question is this: since this is a GLOBAL problem, shouldn't we be planning and coordinating with other countries, regardless of their political views? After all, Russia send a planeload of medical equipment to us just last week. This is not the time for "America First" rhetoric. It is an opportunity to work together on a mutual problem and maybe even repair some relationships.

The New Normal

Our world (and I mean everyone's) has been turned upside down in the last three weeks. For some the corona virus is life threatening. I'm thinking of elderly people, those with underlying conditions, those who are homeless and the 70 million displaced persons living in camps. But even for those of us who are reasonably safe, the situation has its challenges. What we once didn't even think about now seems precious. Like going to the grocery store. Like going anywhere. Like giving and receiving hugs. What we have instead are grocery deliveries (if one is lucky), virtual meetings with friends, and virtual choral rehearsals. All are great and much better than nothing, but truly, these "support services" don't quite do it. And now we are under lock down. The governor is no longer suggesting we shelter in place except for essential errands. It is now required. On the positive side, people are reaching out to others as they can. Musical offerings by amateurs and professionals on line have been uplifting. I especially liked the 12-year-old twin boys in Italy playing an enthusiastic rendition of "Viva la Vida." In our area a cellist plays on her porch for her neighbors. In another residents gather in the street to dance every afternoon at 5:00. Others are trying to cheer us up. Social media and inboxes are full of truly funny stuff from Carol Burnett's skit on toilet paper to a talking dog commenting on the virus. All of this helps, but we remain very worried. This is the new normal.

Covid-19

Two weeks ago life was normal. Our calendars were filled with hospice visits, classes, doctors' appointments, and Encore Chorale rehearsals. As late as March 12 we had friends over for dinner. But on Friday, the 13th (appropriate I guess) everything changed. The Corona virus had begun in China, spread to other Asian countries, and now to Europe. It would soon be here in the States and, indeed, it has arrived. Since it is reported to be especially dangerous, and even fatal, to older folks, we've been "sheltering in place" which means we are basically quarantined at home. We do go out for walks and drives in the countryside. It's a beautiful time of year, cherry trees in bloom, azaleas beginning. We count our blessings and try to concentrate on the positive. We order groceries, or Ian and Mike shop for us. Then we wipe them all down with disinfectant or wash them before putting them away. Did I mention we "oldies" are encouraged to stay away from grocery stores? Fortunately, I have been able to connect with friends and classmates via Zoom, something I had never heard of before last week. I zoomed with my Spanish class, with my local friends, and with a class on the Middle East. Thank goodness for the Internet! In addition to the health concern, I am worried about what this pandemic will mean for others less fortunate. Many families have no Internet access. How are they going to stay connected? How are their children going to benefit from on-line lessons from school? How are individuals who can't work from home going to stay afloat? Worrisome times and the conflicting messages from our president are only making the situation worse.

Arlene Agnew, alias Magnolia

Yesterday my friend Margie picked up the phone and called an old friend who still lives in Erie. (Many of us have moved away.) In no time they were reminiscing about life in Lawrence Park, even though it had been at least 35 years since they had seen each other. You might consider this unusual, even extraordinary, until I point out that we lived in a small company town of 4,000 residents on the east side of Erie. Just about all of them worked at "the GE." We walked everywhere -- to school and back and forth to one other's homes so that we got to know parents and siblings as well as classmates and neighbors. Most of us went to school together for 13 years, if you count kindergarten. All of which means we knew one another extremely well. So these two friends had a good old time catching up on health issues (the hot topic at our age), and remembering classmates and incidents from long ago. Remember when Margie ran home in 4th grade? Remember how Arlene always wore taffeta dresses and adored the art teacher, Mr. Vislosky? He called her "Magnolia" for no good reason at all. Remember painting the store windows on main street at Halloween? Remember? Remember? Remember? We were and are fortunate to have had this set of friends and this community.

Encore Chorale

Three years ago my husband Bruce decided to join a local chorale for people over the age of 55. No auditions required and you can sit during rehearsals and performances. How quaint, I thought to myself. What a nice thing for older people to do. I expected they'd be singing "On Moonlight Bay" or "Home on the Range." Then I attended the spring concert. Wow! Not bad, not bad at all. In fact, so good that I decided I wanted to be a part of it. I've never regretted that decision. We rehearse once a week, during the day so that there is no problem with driving at night for us older folks. Our conductors are professional musicians with the talent, patience and good humor to work with us. As I mentioned, no auditions required so the musical skills of the singers are all over the place. Some are professional or amateur musicians in their own right, some have had experience singing in church choirs or other local groups, and some have no musical background at all. It doesn't matter. With 15 weeks of rehearsals plus a CD of individual parts (soprano, alto, tenor, base) to sing along with, the basic music is easily learned. What is not so easily learned are the breathing exercises, the pronunciation guidelines (never sing on an American "R"), and the rounded vowels. Like I said, our conductors are professional musicians so they know what's what in the singing world. As a result, we learn a lot. At the end of each semester we give a performance with another local Encore group. Dressed in black with a string of pearls for the women and a colorful tie for the men, we look -- and sound -- quite professional. The past two Christmases we have been invited to perform in the Concert Hall of the Kennedy Center in Washington. What a thrill that has been, and we filled the house almost to capacity! Singing is so good for the soul. It's also good for breathing, for companionship, and for just plain fun! Try to find a choral group in your area. You, too, will never regret it!